December 23, 2010

Just some personal philosophy

The only words that I can think to put down, that might have some lasting meaning, that play along with this egotistical charade to posit Segev's story as myth in our collective unconscious are, 'I have been carrying this burden for so long now...'
But that would be a falsification of my belief that, while Segev may be unique and the struggle to attend to his being may be hard, it is not only one of my choosing, since we always have a choice (but may not agree with the consequences) but my load is no heavier than anyone else's.
I know I am guilty of a form of relativism, though I see it as a necessary intermediary step in the consciousness of society.

Claire has spoken about the difficulties in taking care of her daughter. Her daughter's care is something which has come to shape a great deal of Claire's life, just as it must necessarily do for any parent who decides (consciously or not) that their child's well being is of the highest priority.  She does have help in this care setting, with nurses coming to the home, though perhaps not always the ideal person but that form of help in principal exists. 

Therapists attempting to treat and of course a husband who loves his daughter very much. I mention this because one time she said to me, in repsonse to my feeling how difficult it is for her, especially having had a completely healthy daughter until age 6, that "it's not that hard".  This was perhaps less a false bravado nor even a resigned sigh of anguish, but rather a very grounded and healthy attitude that in the end allows her to be positive about the experience and garner strength for a long arduous journey. 

But Claire's journey is just as hard as mine, I honestly feel even more so. Here lies something important for me, in my relativism, which some might superficially dismiss as an inability to distinguish, which it is not. At any given moment we are made to bear (and bare in our attempt to get proper assistance) a great deal. Sometimes we say to ourselves, "not one thing more or I will explode!"

Until that one more thing is piled on, more correctly, absorbed into our built-in mechanism of degrading elements to fit the form of our psyche, removing elements which are impossible to digest. In other words we deal with certain elements, prioritize (not consciously) and end up seeing the problems we can understand.
Since we don't go through this process for others, we can see them and think, my goodness but theirs is the true hard life.

This is not what everyone perceives of course. Some are busy with their own issues and leave others to deal with theirs, so a relativistic approach is moot. I find I need it though, just as i occasionally need to remind myself that I'm actually doing a pretty good job because the relativism apparently has a tendency to attach itself way too much to certain emotional aspects of the psyche, sending it sliding into a particular area of discoloration.

The relativistic outlook lets me gain perspective that gives me strength. Without it I might get lost in viewing my situation as untenuable, and certainly I have been pulled in that direction by some very powerful forces. 
Make no mistake, the need to attend to Segev is such a powerful force that, though difficult to understand, can actually result in a great deal of negativity. 

There is a need to balance other elements of life, other elements that will necessarily pull you away from that taunting bright light that has entered through every pore. But it is a bright light for a reason; its own reason, it is simply being what it is.


  1. I have been thinking much of relativism of late, too -- and how it pertains to my own despair/joy over my daughter Sophie and caring for her. I know how "good" I have it with her and find it tiresome that I must constantly remind myself of that. There is something tyrannical about relativism -- however necessary a check it is. More often than not, I dissolve into a sort of absurdity --

    Interesting post that I will think about all day.

    As always, I wish for peace and ease for you and Segev.

  2. Interesting and thought provoking post. I hope today is a good day for you and Segev.

  3. Elizabeth, a propos the relativism, try looking up the ladder instead of down: instead of seeing 'how good I have it' by looking at those situations down the ladder, look up to those who have it 'better'and know 'they have it just as hard. That is relativism for me: each person perceives his reality to be hard and thus it IS, until their situation changes and the paradigm shift brings them to a new reality, just as hard as before (eventhough more difficult when compared by that person to their prior state).
    Thank you for your wishes of peace, amen.
    Kwombles as good as can get so far!