October 27, 2014

The night air

Do you know what I discovered tonight? That you can love someone so much that, as they are suffering deeply, you hold yourself back in fully living that love and the realization hits you that it is because of the fear that your love is somehow inadequate.

Or so I thought. Then it occurred to me that it isn’t that you don’t bring all of your love to bear, but rather that you couldn’t admit to yourself, that your love for them is so unfathomably deep, you fear the moment you will see the contrast between your love and their suffering, like a grotesque reflection in the mirror, and be overwhelmed by pain.

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