Aging is a relative process. Being vain enough to think that
I have aged well, until I look in the mirror, has long ago been replaced by the
realization that the accumulated mileage is no longer covered by warranty. Coming
up on eighteen years of caregiving for my son, it hasn’t always been easy,
heck, it’s never been easy. If not for his smile and the twinkle in his eye
when I sing to to him, (well cackle like a hyena is a more apt description, but
he loves it!), I wouldn’t have been able to give one hundred percent.
Of course, what was one hundred percent a few years ago is
pitiful when compared to today. It’s not much of a paradox, the fact that the
more you give, the less you have to give. You need to pace yourself for the long
run, but to begin with you cannot know how long that will be and so you give it
your all, hoping the long run will teach you to balance your own needs in face
of your child’s. I never found that balance, and yet in part because of that,
my son is still here.