July 05, 2015


                                         


                                           




  I kiss his hand.
It is damp as he flickers in and out
of consciousness.
Do you understand?
I'm here, watching him,
watching over him.
He seems everywhere, in everything
and yet I must keep him
contained,
in this tiny little life where anything
is everything.




Both by lack of choice and by choice, the hours that I am with Segev both as father and caregiver, present unique challenges. The accumulative affect both strengthens and weakens me; being able to see a positive change in his condition, though momentary, is a collusion of Giri-Ninjo that both elates, giving hope but also deepens darker feelings.
Possibly the main challenge I face each day is that I ask myself, how can I love him more? Some days I even wrestle with the issue, while other days I prefer to retreat to my shell.  What? What is that you say? How is it possible to love him more? Because love is bottomless, endless.

2 comments:

  1. Yes, it is. Hugs and love to you both.

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's good to "hear" from you. Yes, endless --

    ReplyDelete